You Are Not Alone!

Life can get overwhelming at times, especially when we have to wear multiple hats and operate in different roles! I can definitely relate to this as a wife, mother, pastor, and business woman. It is normal for me to be whoever I’ve got to be at any given time during the day! Despite the fast-paced world I find myself a part of, the strength and wisdom I need to maneuver through my days as effortlessly as possible comes from knowing I have help in God. All of us can have confidence that we are not alone in life, and that we don’t have to face life’s challenges by ourselves.

Knowing When to Leave

Because there are so many women in abusive relationships, I feel compelled to share a word of encouragement about this important issue. For so long, many women suffering abuse at the hands of a spouse or significant other have felt they had no way out; they had to stay in that situation. Maybe it was for financial reasons, or even fear. Regardless of the reasons, women should never stay in violent relationships. Physical abuse can cause emotional and physical scars that take a long time to heal. In many cases, women who continue to stay in an abusive relationship end up paying the ultimate price—their lives. Anyone being physically abused should immediately get out of the situation. Loving ourselves means making sure we are not taken advantage of or battered in any way. If you have survived an abusive relationship and would like to share your story, I would love to hear from you! Your testimonies really help others and give them the strength to move forward in spite of what they are facing. I love you!

Emotions Can Be Deceiving

We’ve all heard the saying, “If it feels good, it must be right,” but is this really true? There are a lot of things that may feel good to us, but that doesn’t mean they are good for us. In today’s world, the lines between right and wrong have been blurred by a contemporary way of thinking that says everyone has the right to do what they want as long as they’re not hurting anyone. But have we ever really taken the time to think about how our choices affect our own lives in the long run? There was a time in my life when I did things that felt good to my senses. Most of the time I was being emotionally led. There came a day, however, when I realized life was about more than fulfilling certain desires; it became less about me and more about others. That caused me to change. Emotions can be deceiving because they can move us to make bad decisions. However, I want to focus on allowing my feelings to take me to a place of greatness. What about you?

Setting the Standard

I like to talk to single women because, unfortunately, there are many who have allowed the world’s standards to affect their mindsets, particularly where relationships with men are concerned. I’ve mentioned before that as women, we are very relational. By that I mean we tend to be most fulfilled and happy when we are in loving, giving relationships that allow us to love and be loved without reservations. We often long for fulfilling relationships with men, yet we live in a world that prizes the physical over the spiritual and focuses on immediate gratification rather than waiting. Consequently, a lot of women tend to lower their standards in relationships, or settle for men that are not God’s best for them. As women, we must realize we have the power to set the standards in our relationships. When we wait on the best God has to offer, we save ourselves time and energy and we avoid heartbreak. I want to encourage women everywhere to set the standard for their lives and refuse to compromise!

Guarding Your Heart

One area in which I’ve seen so many women experience heartache and emotional pain is in their relationships with men. From abusive situations to dating relationships that didn’t end on a good note, women tend to intensely experience the negative emotions of broken relationships. The impact of these types of situations can be devastating, and I’ve come to realize it is because we are wired to be relational. We get fulfillment from giving and receiving love to and from the special people in our lives. Unfortunately, many women open their hearts too soon to people whose motives are not necessarily pure. Now more than ever, it’s so important that we guard our hearts and emotions in relationships. I’m not talking about walking in fear and refusing to trust others. I simply mean developing boundaries and having personal standards that protect us from the wrong intentions of others. Conducting our relationships this way ensures success and helps us keep emotionally and spiritually sound.

Don’t Get Emotional!

As I was doing my devotional today, I began to think about my girls and how they are growing up so fast. I remember when my oldest headed off to college and I realized her sisters were not far behind! For many of us, our beloved children are starting college, getting married, and moving out of the house. With these types of transitions, it isn’t uncommon to feel a variety of emotions, from joy to sadness. I know about these tough transitions, especially with two grown sons, and three daughters who are quickly growing up. However, I have to remind myself to keep God at the forefront of my thinking so my emotions won’t be tossed to and fro by the changing seasons taking place in my relationships with my kids.

I want to encourage wives and mothers facing the same things to resist the urge to fall into loneliness and grief. Ask God to reveal to you what your next assignment is and pay attention to what He says. In addition, seek the comfort of like-minded friends during this phase. Speaking of friends, I want to hear from those of you who have successfully conquered these same challenges. How did you get through it? I look forward to hearing from you!

Prioritize Your Day

I always seem to come back to the issue of prioritizing life, no matter what messages I preach or what topics I touch on. As I reflect on my days and the various responsibilities I have as a mother, wife, pastor, and business woman, I continue to see that keeping my priorities in order is essential to living a life of balance and productivity. It starts with the way we begin our day and continues to the time we go to bed at night. Starting the day with some quiet time is a great way to think about and note our goals and objectives, as well as get direction.

Keeping a journal and writing down all the things we need to do and how much time we will devote to each task, helps keep us focused as well. Factoring in rest, relaxation, and personal pampering sessions are also important, not to mention carving out time each day for prayer and meditation. Balance is the key to life and can be achieved when we organize our days on a consistent basis!

I’m sure you’ve heard the cliché that says women are emotional. I know there have been times when I have been. I don’t know if it is that women are emotional as much as it is people; in general, allow their emotions to run wild.

Without knowing how to manage them, emotions can take over our lives and drive us to make bad decisions. Don’t get me wrong, emotions are not all bad. In fact, they enable us to experience feelings of joy, peace, and love. These feelings move us into a deeper relationship with God and others. Problems come when we make decisions on an emotional whim.

Each day, I am striving not to allow my feelings to determine how I respond to people and situations in life. What about you?

Balancing Life’s Responsibilities

I was having some personal quiet time today and began thinking about the importance of maintaining balance in life. Speaking for myself, I can say that juggling the responsibilities of being a mother, wife, business woman, and pastor can become overwhelming at times. I feel the same emotions, frustrations, and challenges that everyone else does!

Some days I handle them better than others, but I’ve found the key to having a peaceful attitude, in the midst of everything life brings, is BALANCE! Even though we have a lot of things on our plates, it is important to take a time-out and do something uplifting for ourselves. Whether it’s going to the spa, sitting down with a good book, or just finding some quiet time for yourself on the weekend, take a moment to pause, and exhale.

When you balance life’s responsibilities with “mandatory” personal time, you will find new enjoyment in your relationships and a renewed ability to handle everything you have to do!

Video Blog - Day 2 of 2009 Women's Conference

Video Blog - Day 1 of 2009 Women's Conference